All I remember is seeing the wall coming at me and remembering my stage combat training.
“Chris! Dude! Are you ok?!” as he runs towards me.
I landed hard. Everything was dark for a split second. I opened my eyes. Everything was clear. I laughed. I didn’t catch it, but I didn’t have to do push-ups either. Nothing is broken and I don’t bruise, so I’m fine! Just fine! You play hard, you fall hard!
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Just a nice hour hangin on the basketball court at the gym with my buddy. Just two guys playin some guy-games. Fun games. Holding two 20 lbs dumbbells in a plank position then drag-scruntching your body across the gym floor. Oh, wait! Can’t stay there for the rest of your life, go backwards now! Here, bro, grab this 10 lb medicine ball and throw it against the wall and catch it! Its fuckin’ rad, dude! Catch it with your arms, not your stomach! Put the ball down, I’ll race you across the court and back! (Even though his legs are a good toddler length longer than mine)
We did no lifting today, just played our little, guy-games. Intense (to say the least) yet, seemingly menial activities. Yes, menial (from Gunnar, they are just MEANial.) as in base knave activities that you would have someone beneath you do. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have been reduced to the status of servant. Again. So with this sort of oppression coming at me, I got…umm…competitive…
After slamming a medicine ball against the ground and catching it before it hits my face 30 times, I was instructed to sprint across the court and back. Again.
Christopher does his last ball slam, he…oh my god ladies and gentlemen! What is he doing? He just threw the medicine ball at Gunnar’s gut to get a head start. Look at Gunnar’s form, ladies and gentlemen! As if he were expecting it, he grabs the ball and takes off while throwing the ball to the side in one fluid movement! OHHHHHHHHHH! The head start wasn’t enough! Gunnar is quickly gaining! Whoa! What is this? Chris magically turned into a GAZELLE, ladies and gentlemen! A gazelle! Gunnar is getting his stride back, and bam! It’s a tie! Oh my God it’s a tie! This has never happened to Gunnar before!
Needless to say, Gunnar upped his game. Knowing that at this point he has totally kicked my ass, he now sees me as vulnerable. New game. Our old friend the medicine ball was to be used. With both arms, underhand throw it up in the air. The other person is supposed to catch it after the first bounce. We have to have SOME safety protocols, after all. Oh, and if I let the ball bounce twice, I do 10 push-ups. OH HELL TO THE HELL TO THE HELL TO THE NO! The game starts out pleasantly. We were like Emily and Florence in the park. Two ladies playing ball. ‘Don’t forget to sit down when you piss!’ errrrr….sorry…I digress…this isn’t the British TV show, Little Britain! I figure this game out quickly, as mother didn’t raise a buffoon! The ball gets tossed further and further away. Gunnar stumbles once, gets the ball and throws it across the court. I take off, eye on the ball. Running full speed, I start to notice the wall is coming closer. Maybe I can dive, catch the ball and roll it out. I’m not going to do those fucking push-ups!
All I remember is seeing the wall coming at me and remembering my stage combat training.
I get the ball alright. As I’m getting into my tuck and roll position, I got it! Right in the ribs. Landing on the medicine ball causes my elbow and knee to slam into the court. But, hey! I missed the wall. By an inch. This put me in rather good spirits. I don’t have to do push-ups because Gunnar has to do the right thing to avoid lawsuits for the company and end the game! HA! WHO IS VULNERABLE NOW, PUNK!?!
Some quotes from today’s Gunnar session: “Fuck!” “uhhhhgassssfefwe!” thump thump “ahhhh” splat! “HA!” ----yeah that about sums it up!
“Hey, Chris, go get some water, we still have some lunges to do with those dumbbells!”
Body by Gunnar – blood, sweat, tears.
