Litter Box Fan

     So there is this neighbor that wasn't so neighborly a few months back. He and I saw each other, I coming out of my apartment with laundry, he going into his apartment with a tub of laundry soap. I think it is pretty obvious where I was going and from where he had came. I lug my laundry down 4 flights to the basement, and you know what? He had just used the last working washing machine. I was irritated at his lack of courtesy. He also does things like turn his TV way up whilst watching testosterone-filled shoot-em-ups and televised sports. Two of my least favorite things in the world.

     Now, Calypso, my cat, is the world's worst maid. Every day she promises that she'll clean the bathroom, dust, do the dishes, clean the litter box, etc, and everyday I come home to a dirtier apartment. Lazy, lying, fuzz spreading ball of empty promises. Well, this evening I had enough. Her litter box needed to be emptied. Badly.

     I plug my nose. I take the top of the litter box off. I pull the drawstring on the liner and pull. I deem the 'contents' to be too heavy for the liner so I take the bottom half of the litter box and head toward the dumpster. I open my door, put the box in the hall, step out and start to lock my door. Then, I hear it. My opportunity to be a tool of Karma! I look to my right (which just happens to be the direction of the stairwell) and my eyes confirm. My sports watching, mums-the-word on laundry neighbor has his door cracked with a fan blowing into his apartment in hopes that some of the 'air-conditioning' in the hallway will cool off his unctuous abode. I pick up the litter box again and go scope the scene. The way his apartment is set up, the couch, where he is sitting, is hidden by the door. So, with a Cheshire grin, I stand, unseen, holding my malodorous box of feline ejectamenta up to the back of his fan. 


Moral? Be neighborly. You never know if Karma will take the form of a spinsterly gay man with extra cat shit!

Mormons AGAIN!

     I was feeling pretty threadbare as it is. IT DID NOT help seeing mormons on bikes in my neighborhood.  Ever since prop 8, I have been angry. ANGRY. How dare someone try to legalize they ways of my heart! I have, do and will love very deeply with this heart, with this soul. My love toward another human being cannot and WILL NOT be voted on by a community of people who have nothing to do with the inner workings of my soul! Get out of my love life and GET OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD! I don't molest children, worship the devil, want to wreck your marriage, marry animals, burn your churches or whatever other bullshit they come up with to demonize me. I do, however, want an obscenely large piece of chocolate cake with a glass of whole milk. I want to meet someone and have butterflies, I want to live in Europe, I want to perfect at least one language other than English. I want to feel free in the land of the free. I'd love for Americans to have a world view, to take off the red white and blue glasses and see that we are all one! I really want to be identified as a man, rather than a gay man. Yes, I do gay things, its part of me and I love it. And on that note, please stop using gay as a pejorative word. I want to find another sangha so I can build up my withering spiritual self. I want to succeed at work. I want to stop feeling over-whelmed with house work. I want help in life. Sometimes I just feel its too much to handle as the 'stoic single.' Does this sound human (Not gay human, just human) to you? It does to me!


     Ok, back to the Mormons. I did not run them over. I didn't throw my chocolate cake at them. I did however, scream the words, "Wrong neighborhood!" as I drove past.  Was that the most tactful way of handling the situation. No. One should never lash out in anger. A better approach? Maybe I could have calmly approached them, introduced myself, and discussed what exactly they thought they could accomplish in a gay neighborhood. I could have explained my frustration (which I am positive is shared by others) Something, however, tells me that they would have just ridden off before any of this could happen. 


     The Mormons I know are wonderful people. I do my best to let them be the stereotype in my head. My old neighbors were amazing. And boy could she cook! She used to take me on trips to her freezer for cookies...drool...and this lady at work. She loves her some gays, curses, supports HIV causes, does drag makeup, listens when people talk and is a lot of fun to be around! 
     
     I can understand being raised with a religion and thinking its beautiful. I think Catholicism is a beautiful religion. I love the stand up, sit down, drink the wine...err...Christ's blood...Christianity in general is an amazing tradition filled with love and grace. It just takes a few extremists to give good people from all walks of life a bad rap. I.E. those who supported Prop 8, al-Qaida, PETA, stupid american tourists, Tyson Chicken, Ann Coulter, pedophile priests, Jan Couch (please, someone find her some waterproof mascara!) 


     So now that I've totally rambled off path, what I'm really trying to say is, oh hell, I don't know any more. I've had most of that cake, and I feel like a human again. Just love people, love. Even when they are in your hood trying to bring you down. Just believe in love and life will happen! 


Peace, Love and Flower Power!